Wednesday, December 26, 2007

"It's Okay To Love Both Families !"

We hear often from blended families that we have work with the following challenge during the holidays..."the kids say that Dad's House (or Mom's House) had the best Christmas!" That naturally stings. Sometimes kids don't fully understand the power of the spoken word...sometimes they do. We encourage Blended Family parents to 'be still and know that God is God' and let Him handle it His way.

Perhaps one family's Christmas did shine brighter above the other for some reason. Yet we can find a key 'teachable moment' point we as parents often miss. The 'had the best Christmas' syndrome usually has underpinnings and the comments birthed from one parents need to 'compete'. The unfortunate goal is to make their house better by trying to 'outdo' the other parent, step-parent or residence. It is an insecure parent does this in their need to make themselves 'better'.

It is important to remember, most of the time, the children are innocent in this scenario.
They want to be loved by all, yet often can be without knowing, 'steered' by a manipulative parent. Rise above this situation as best you can. Yes, that is easier to say than do often times...but greater payoff in the end.

As Co-Parents we are called to support one other and to encourage positive relationships and the need to have parenting time at both homes and with both family situations.

Send forth the message that children truly want to hear from you...

"It's okay to love both families."

That's the ONLY MESSAGE OF CO-PARENTING that a parent should work to instill into the heart, mind and soul of thier child. To do anything less is to not truly 'win' the heart of the child, but moreso it displays a 'loser' mentality of the parent promoting superiority of one home over the other. Strong words perhaps...but accurate because of the long term damage that a parent coaching negativity can create.

Be the Leader. Let the children love the families God has placed them into freely.

Write us with your stories if this touched a memory.




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